As a stay at home mom, I feel like sometimes, lines get blurred. I often wonder if I am in their face too much, if I am too controlling or maybe too relaxed. Being a mother of 15 month old twins is pretty isolating. 2 naps a day limit your time out and about and no school creates a void between you and the rest of the moms. When you are alone a lot, its hard to know how other mom's do it and how you compare. There is always doubt that I am not teaching them everything at the right time, that I am missing something...or worse, THEY are missing something. Like, when we go in for our 12 month check up (at 13 months, of course) and the pediatrician alerts me that they "should be saying a handful of words by 18 months". Oh, really? And if they are not, what would you like me to do? I speak to them constantly, I don't keep the T.V. on and I spend the better part of every day repeating "ball, ball, ball...water, water, water....dog, dog, dog..." Will I be thrown into some unknown mommy-jail if my kids are late? Oh and she throws in at the end "twin boys are usually very late when it comes to language development". Perfect.But, I digress.
I am sure we all doubt our mom-skills from time to time. Yesterday (or was that last week...) I had a challenging day. It started by pulling several chunks of dog food from my kids mouth, which they found by scheming together...one held the dog food bin open and the other helped himself to a handful. Next, during a particularly horrific diaper change, twin A comes over to check out why mommy is making strange gagging noises. In his curiosity, he gets too close and inadvertently steps on the velcro tab with the only foot that still has a sock on (just my luck). At that same moment, someone calls my phone which inevitably leads to a frenzy (in their defense, they are just modeling observed behavior. I never know where my cell phone is so when it rings, a wild goose hunt ensues). So, he takes off to find the source of the ringing, dragging the poopy diaper stuck to his foot. I have a twin hanging by his ankles and I have to make a decision, A) let my un-wiped twin go, risking butt prints all over the carpet and catch the runaway diaper or B) take care of said twin and hope that the velcro can't stand up to the exuberance of a baby on the hunt for a ringing cell phone. Turns out 7th Generation doesn't mess around with their velcro. But, luckily for me, the diapers is still wadded up and nothing nasty escapes. After a little disinfecting and a "Praise Jesus", I need a pick-me-up.
We arrive at the Peacock Family Center, a play room for toddlers. We have a bunch of them here since we only get rain in the winter. I am not the only one with a need for a break from the norm. The place is filled with at least 5 other mommy-kid teams. We all smile and say hello. Once we start playing and everyone relaxes and I get the immediate sense my feelings as a failure are about to be abolished.
There is a mother there with two girls, about 6 and 4. The older one has dark brown hair and my kids are immediately attracted to her (my 6 year old sister and the love of my kids life, has similar hair). So, as they follow her, I follow them and in turn, am right in the business of their hovering mother. It was quite the show. Every where they go, she is within 3 feet. She has a diaper bag stuffed full of snacks, juice boxes, tissues, hand sanitizer, a DVD player and, what I can only imagine to be, dress-up clothes (tutus, tiaras, magic wands). She is like the Fox News of moms. She is a running commentary for every move they make, every kid they come into contact with and every toy they touch.
"Sarah, don't climb on that, Maddy, stay with your sister, Sarah, look how cute that baby is, Sarah, don't get too close to the baby, Maddy, come see the baby, Sarah, you need a tissue, Maddy, are you thirsty, do you need to go potty, come let me re-tie your shoe, Sarah, help me tie her shoe..."
It never stopped. She didn't ever seem satisfied with letting her kids play alone. If they sat down or stopped for one idle moment, she offered them another activity or something to stuff in their mouths. Good gracious woman!! I was 2 minutes from wanting to strangle her when I noticed something that made me laugh.
The girls never batted an eye. She would offer something or give a command and they wouldn't skip a beat in their activity. They did not even seem to hear her. She was literally chatting to herself. Then I started to feel bad. Maybe she had a problem. Is there some condition you can inherit or some phobia you can incur in childhood that causes this behavior? Like "silence-a-phobia" or "idle-a-phobia"? When they all went into the bathroom, the girls came out before the mother. I half expected to walk in there and find her duct taped to the toilet with a bouncy ball stuffed in her mouth.
I often find myself repeating the same command a few times with no response. Then I remember in my puppy-training, you give the command once and then make the puppy do what you asked. I say, come get your shoes on, please. No response (or worse, they look at me with that smirk and run the opposite way). I get up, take a hold of that meaty little hand and lead him back over to where I asked him to come in the 1st place. Is this pointless or necessary? I may never know. But, at least I am not talking my children into deafness.
I feel bad for all the characters involved in that mothers' constant verbal diarrhea. But, with a day covered in half-dissolved dog food and dirty diapers, I needed to see that hey, it could be worse!
